solitary confinement at it’s finest

I will never understand everyone’s fear of being single. I feel like there are so many people who spend their lives being terrified of being alone. When they are in a bad relationship, they stay in it because they don’t want to be single. When they get broken up with, they rebound right away because, to them, it is better than being alone. So they seem to think anyways. And when a break up happens, it’s almost like a race between exes of who can move on to a new relationship first. And if you stay single for too long after, you are clearly not over your ex. You can’t possibly just be happy being single. I will never understand it.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times that I miss being in a relationship. Though it is not that I miss being in a relationship in general, I miss being in a relationship with him specifically. I do not miss having someone in my bed when I go to sleep at night or when I wake up in the morning, I miss him being the one in my bed. I do not miss having someone to do things with all the time, I can do things on my own.  Or I have friends if I don’t want to do it alone. I find after years of giving advice to friends over breakups, they generally just miss being with someone so much, that they often get pulled back into a relationship that wasn’t all that great to begin with. And maybe my relationship wasn’t perfect. But he did make me happy for a long time. Lucky for me, I am perfectly fine on my own. In fact after almost four years of being in a relationship (well 2 officially, 2 unofficially) I almost forgot how awesome it is to be single. It’s nice not to have to worry about someone else. It’s nice to be selfish and do only what I want to do. It’s refreshing to only have to worry about taking care of myself and not another person. There’s a reason I do not want kids or pets, the responsibilities of it all. Relationships can be that way too sometimes. You taken on the responsibility of taking care of them, and they do the same. 
Most importantly, it’s fantastic to make plans for your future and not have to take anyone into consideration but yourself.  As I sit here this morning planning my trip around the world, I don’t have to worry about anything but making sure I have enough money and time to see all that I want to see. And when you are traveling, with no significant other on the other side of the world waiting for your return, you do not need to worry about how to get a hold of them, missing them and getting home sick over them. You still miss your family and friends, but believe me, after four months in Thailand without Ryan, I remember how much I missed him, and wanted to make sure I could text him when I wanted to. Find time to Skype/FaceTime/video chat, so you can see their face. It’s hard to go for long periods of time away from the person you love. Though I will admit, it is nice when that person comes across the world to be with you. Or coming home to the person you love, when you have been away. But that doesn’t mean not having that is awful. It is still nice to come home to your family and friends when you have been away. There are always others that you have been missing when you travel. When you are alone for long periods of time, company from others is quite nice, but that doesn’t need to come from a relationship.
It’s important to enjoy your own company. To really be happy in solitude. And I believe I have achieved that. And I don’t just mean recently. I have always been a social person, but I have also been one to enjoy my private time. Some people can often mistaken it as being anti social or sad, but there are things I enjoy doing alone. I enjoy reading. Reading can be a very solitary activity. Though there are times while reading I miss being intertwined with my ex, both with a book open. But I wouldn’t want that with just anyone. I’d rather read alone. It’s my escape. I miss my step outside my house, the one I grew up in. Some of my favourite time alone was spent there reading and people watching. 
All in all, I have never been one to hate or be in fear of the single status. I’d rather be by myself than be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Or with someone who lies to me. Or cheats. Being single is a nice freedom that is almost unexplainable. I guess being someone who doesn’t want to get married or have kids, I don’t have this clock ticking, telling me I need to rush back into something in order to do these things at the appropriate age. But I mean, it took me until I was 24 to find someone who I felt was worth being in a relationship with. I have dated before but have always enjoyed being single more than I ever enjoyed the company of anyone else. So I stayed single. There were potentials in the past who, with different timing, could have been something more. Australia got in the way with one. And I wouldn’t have traded that experience for any relationship. Timing is everything. I was lucky Thailand didn’t get in the way of another relationship; it actually kick started one into something real. So here I sit, with one great relationship in my past. No regrets. It was amazing while it lasted. But here’s to being single. To being selfish. And wandering alone around this world, just doing me. Because when I am alone, I am in pretty great company, if I do say so myself.

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